Monday, April 7, 2014

Dear Carl,

I can't believe you're gone.  Total shock is an understatement.  It was only 3 months ago you were talking about your retirement and all of things you wanted to do.  Finish your old car and take it for a drive, maybe move away to some place more peaceful and laid back, really just enjoy your retirement while trying to stay busy.  Even though you worked that crazy shift at FPL you never seemed to rest.  Always go, go, go.

When I first moved in, you were the friendliest neighbor who became a dear friend to us. BBQ's at your house, parties at ours, a beer here and there.  Endless conversations, not just the usual "hi" with a friendly wave but real, good conversations, and lots of laughs.

And it's not fair.  When the beau told me you had lung cancer that had metastasized and your diagnosis was only 5 months we were in shock.  We cried but knew you were a fighter and would pull through.  After only your second round of chemo, 3 weeks later, you passed away.  And it's not fair.  It's not fair that you busted your ass your entire life and didn't even get to enjoy your retirement and all of the things you were looking forward to doing.  And it's not fair that your wife of almost 23 years has to live the rest of her life without you.  And I don't understand why it happened to a good man like you, one who seemingly did everything in his life the "right way."  And I also feel so guilty.  I've been so consumed with wedding planning and school that after the beau told me the news, I still didn't make the time to come over and visit with you.  And now you're gone.  I hope you know we'll help with your wife.  We'll help her do anything she needs done around the house.  And I hope you'll be pleased that we're setting up a meal plan and nightly visits with her.  But most of all, I hope you know you were a good person who will be missed, greatly.

This letter is to our dear friend, and neighbor, Carl.  I can't really seem to express my thoughts and feelings without tears, so I thought this would help me to heal.